Our Journey

Christmas

I have slacked and not updated it several months....so much to tell...so much to catch up on, but this Christmas season amidst the hustle and bustle of parties and traveling and friends and family, please take time to remember why we celebrate this season!



I will be back soon...with a real life Emily update, baby news and all! :-)

25 memories with my Best Friend!!

Today my best friend in the whole wide world turns 25!! So sad that I am not there to celebrate her turning a quarter of a century old, but so very grateful to have SO many wonderful memories with this special woman of God!! So without further ado...25 memories we have shared together to help celebrate 25 years of her life!! (in no particular order)

1. Her wedding
2. My wedding
3. Watching Friends
4. Milkshakes
5. Thursday night date nights
6. Beach trips
7. Laying out by the pool
8. Colorado

9. Driving through the country with the windows down and the music loud

10. Quiz trips
11. Romania
12. Last Blast - both as campers and as counselors
    
13. Chick-fil-A - both working there and eating there all the time!
14. Passing notes back and forth on Wednesday nights at youth group since we didn't go to the same school
15. Taking Milo on walks and being so embarrassed at his bark (or rather attempt to bark)
16. Watching the man of her dreams propose to her

17. Scary Movie nights

18. Late night Taco Bell runs
19. Watching you get baptized and continue on your passionate journey with the Lord!
20. Carving Pumpkins
21. All the years of Formals
22. Bachelorette parties - both yours and mine!
23. Eating crazy bread or garlic bread at the most random times
24. Craving bourbon chicken and going to the mall for no other reason but to eat it!
25. Delilah!

I love EWE, Sara Jo!!! We may be miles apart right now, but that doesn't change the years of memories and the friendship that we share. Have an amazing birthday!!!

Love Never Fails

During our wedding, my niece Kayleigh read the love passage from 1 Corinthians! She read it so well and it was so sweet and tender, coming from such a young beautiful little girl, but the part that got me the most was the last three words that she read "LOVE NEVER FAILS!" I'm not sure if while practicing it my sister coached her to make those last 3 words more emphasized and bold, or if she did that one her own, but dang they were powerful. It was almost as if there was a period after each word...a short pause...
LOVE. NEVER. FAILS.

As I look back on the last 3 months that we have been married there have been many ups and downs, so much laughter and love, memories that are only just beginning and a lifetime ahead of us, but there has also been struggles. One of the biggest struggles that we have (and are still learning how to) overcome is rooted in my fear of failure. I long so much to be a good wife, a good house keeper, a good cook, a friend, a lover, a help mate to my husband, but so often I fall short. I know this is normal and we are human and it will happen, but for me when it happens, in my mind I get this overwhelming thought of failure. If a meal isn't perfect, I failed. If the laundry isn't done, I failed. If the house is still a mess when the hubby gets home from work, I failed. I have struggled for awhile with this fear of being a failure in life, not only in my marriage, and I am learning to lean on my Heavenly Father.

This weekend Christopher and I got away for a very quick little trip to celebrate our 3 months and I was thinking about all the details of our wedding and Kayleigh reading that verse came back to mind and those 3 words rang over and over and over again in my head. LOVE. NEVER. FAILS. If I am truly striving to love my husband, than I will NOT fail!!! I may....no I WILL fall short, there will be times that dinner isn't perfect and the house is a mess and laundry isn't done, but that doesn't mean that I am failing as a wife! It just means I'm human. As long as loving my husband is my priority...I WILL NOT FAIL...because Love. Never. Fails! In the same way that my Jesus has grace and understanding when I mess up, my husband has done nothing but shown me that same type of grace and understanding over the last few months. I am determined not to let the devil whisper his little lies of failure into my ears anymore when things aren't perfect, but instead to look to the cross and to know that everywhere I fall short, is only an opportunity for improvement in the future, only a chance to accept grace from both my Heavenly Father and my husband, only a chance to LOVE my husband with every fiber of my being, because as long as my priority is not to be the perfect wife, but to love him more, than I will not fail, because LOVE. NEVER. FAILS.




This song was played at our wedding during the pouring of our unity sand and while our parents took turns praying over us, it is such a great song!
Love Never Fails - Brandon Heath

Trust HIM....what's the worst that could happen?

If ever you were to record conversations that my husband and I have on a regular basis...you would probably hear one of two topics...either Africa and our desire to be back there....or babies and our desire to start a family in the near future! Both of these topics separately make my heart smile in huge ways!!!

I am so very excited for the moment when God has opened every door perfectly and my husband and I board a plane for Southern Sudan!! I can't wait to be back in Africa, to be snuggling sweet African babies, to be reaching out to poor widows, and just to be loving on God's people in a huge way!! I can't wait!!

I have dreamed since I was a little girl about being a Mommy!! Christopher and I talk alot about home birth and the idea that birth doesn't have to be such a stressful ordeal. I can't wait for the day when the Lord blesses us with our very own little baby! I can't wait to look into their precious eyes and know that God knit them together perfectly in my womb! I can't wait to see my big strong protective husband holding our tiny little seconds old baby!! I can't wait!!

And while my heart loves both of things separately there has been a place in my heart that has been holding on to a deep dark fear, what happens if this two amazing dreams of mine collide? What happens if I get pregnant and then the Lord opens the doors for us to go to Sudan? What happens if I have to deliver my baby in Africa? What does that look like? What if there are complications? They don't have the best medical care over there?! WHAT IF? WHAT IF? WHAT IF? These questions have haunted me! My sweet husband has listed several different options over the last few weeks, we could travel to Uganda where the hospitals are better, we could go to Italy and stay there for about a month around the birth of the baby, we could come back to the US if we absolutely needed to. Every time we talked about it my fear grew more and more....to the point where I even told myself that it might be best if we put off starting our family right away (something that I really don't want to do). I was living in fear of the future, of the unknown. That is...until.....


This morning when my husband and I went to church. There is something amazingly sweet about worshiping the Lord with your husband by your side! We sang several songs and I was just singing and praising Him....just like every other Sunday......until the Pastor's wife gets up and shares this story about a brown recluse spider in their house and how she was so afraid of it that she couldn't even sleep. Finally she got to the point where she said...what is the WORST that can happen? I could get bit and my skin could rot and fall off. But that won't necessarily happen...it’s just the worst case scenario. She goes on to talk about things in life that we are often afraid of, but that the Lord is just asking us to trust Him on. And most of the time, those risks that we are SO afraid of are just worst case scenarios, not necessarily what WILL happen if we take that step of faith. She continued speaking (I am sure she said some good, powerful stuff) but all I could hear was the sweet small whisper of my Savior:

"Do you trust me? Do you trust me with your future children? Do you trust me? What's the worst that can happen? Your baby could die an earthly death and live in eternity with me. But that's worst case scenario, remember? Do you trust your husband that he will only take the risks that I ask him to take? Do you trust me? Or will you live in this fear? This fear of the unknown, this fear of losing a child"

I squeezed my husband’s hand a little bit tighter. My God was really asking me to do this! To not only take the step of faith and go to Africa with my husband, but also to trust Him with the perfect timing and location of the birth of our future child(ren)! The worship band began to play again....

"We lift up our eyes,
lift up our eyes
You’re the Giver of Life
We lift up our eyes,
lift up our eyes
You’re the Giver of Life "

....(my eyes filled with tears).....He IS the giver of life! He can do anything that He desires...He is God! He is love! He is good!

And I trust Him completely! And I trust my husband completely to listen to the voice of God! So whether our baby is born in Africa, in Italy, in America or even Antarctica, as long as we are following in the footsteps of the Lord, I WILL NOT FEAR!!!

(Side note: To the best of our knowledge we are not currently pregnant, but we know that it is something we both desire in the near future!) “

Pedaling away...trusting the Lord and my husband!!

Last Saturday, Christopher and I went to the state park to go bike riding! I truly enjoy bike riding, but I am far from in shape right now and it was well over 100 degrees that afternoon...so it was rough! As we started out pedaling around the loop of the state park we start at the bottom of the hill....I complained about starting up hill...why didn't we go the other way, so that we could go down hill first?! But my husband insisted, so I followed! We continued this journey...sometimes I was walking my bike up the big hills...stopping for water every now and then! It was hot! I was sore! I was getting grumpy...UGH! Why did we decide to do THIS...today...when it was SO hot out? At one point we stopped for a brief water break, and I needed to sit down for a minute, I was feeling dizzy, and really hot! I drank a lot of water but still was not feeling good...wasn't really sure if I could keep going, kinda felt like I was going to pass out. I even laid down on the ground at one point, it was so hot! I remember thinking, maybe Chris will go get the car and we can just call it quits for today! Instead my husband knelt down next to me, took my pulse (like a good paramedic does ;-), told me to drink some more water and helped me up to my feet. After giving me a little bit more time to breathe, he said alright, let's get going, you can do this. We pushed through a few more hills and even got to go down hill quite a bit in the end! We finally finished the whole loop and jumped in the lake afterwards to cool off.

I could stop there and just let you have a glimpse of our fun, HOT afternoon, but that was not really the point in me telling you this story. You see as we were finishing the loop, the Lord began to speak to me. In the same way that on that bike ride I got tired, had to walk my bike, needed water, had to rest, and was hot; our life will be like that! There will be moments when I can't keep climbing the hill full speed on the bike and I must stop and walk the rest of the way up. There will be moments that I just need to be refreshed and need to soak in some water. There will be moments when I don't feel like going on, when I just want to give up and quit. But just like on that ride, I will make it through those difficulties in life...not by my own strength, but with the overwhelming support of my sweet husband and by the strength and courage of Our Lord! The Lord will be that refreshment that I NEED to keep going. He will be there to keep pushing through the hills and will allow me to rest in His arms when the days are hard. And now...the Lord has also given me a husband, a man whom I trust and love with all my heart. A man that will kneel down be side me, take my pulse-knowing me better than I know myself, encourage me drink of the Lord and to keep going, because he knows that I can do it. A man that will lead the way and even purposefully leave the down hill part for the end of the loop, knowing that by then I would have nothing left! A man that while leading me, will have his eyes focused on the Lord and the plans and steps that HE lays out for us to take!

Whether on a hot bike ride in Texas, living in the slums of Africa or traveling down whatever path the Lord leads us on, I am so very blessed to be following this amazing man!!

South Sudan!

My heart is overjoyed when I look at the faces of these people!
They are finally free from the Northern Sudanese Government!!
Please continue to pray for these people, there is still a great deal of pain and loads of healing that the Lord needs to do in their lives! Christopher and I are anxious to return to these people, but know that the Lord's timing is perfect and so instead we rejoice with South Sudan from afar! The Lord is good and we are excited for all that He has in store for us, for Sudan, for His people!!!

Bathroom? Toliet? Squatty Potty?

Christopher is teaching me Arabic....very slowly!! I am not so good at learning languages...in fact it is one of the things that I struggle with the most, but knowing that we will be living in Africa, I know I need to learn some. So while we were on the honeymoon Christopher began to teach me a few words:

Habibi - baby (a nick name we call each other)
Haleeb - milk
Lay, Lay, Lay - No, no no

As he was teaching me different phrases, I asked him for a few simple ones, things that I would need to know in Africa.

I asked what the word for water was...Maya...we all know that I am going to need that one in Africa! Then I asked him the word for bathroom...another word or phrase that I am going to need in Africa....and Christopher who knows a ton of Arabic had no idea how to ask for the bathroom or toilet or anything.
So although I may know how to say 'Baby' and 'Water'...I have no idea how to ask for a bathroom or even a squatty potty! I guess I will learn over time, but for now I am grateful for a man that is patient enough to teach me a few words and even have to go over the same word or phrase numerous times in order for me to pronounce it correctly!

Mr. & Mrs. Mullins!!

The day was perfect!!!
Our Bridal Party was way beyond amazing!!
Our families were wonderful in making it all come together!!
I have no complaints (other than it was a little hot, but it didn't rain!!)
I promise that I will get better about updating this blog and sharing funny
and maybe even inspiring stories of our lives as newly weds,
but for now...I have a house to make into a home!!
~~Mrs. Mullins~~

My Baby Brother!

(note: this was not taken at tonight's race!)

Today I watched my little brother run in a 5K, probably the last race that I will get to watch him run, because truth be told, coming up from Texas for a race every Tuesday isn't really feasible. This 5k was extra special for a couple reasons, 5 high school students organized this run all by themselves! They did it for an amazing cause, Samaritan's Purse! They called this race living water, because that is what they will do, provide water for African communities that are in need! I was so proud of these 5 students and all the work they did to put on such an event!

Although, as this race began tonight, the clouds began to grow dark, the rain began to fall, first gently and then harder, the wind began to blow and soon, as they were only a little bit into the race, the tornado sirens began to wale. The runners (and walkers - doing a 1 mile family walk) continued and pushed through!! It went from 80's to 60's very quickly, the rain kept coming and the wind blew strong. As I thought about my brother and his life right now, I have a feeling that sometimes he feels much like he did during that race tonight, that everything is against him! The rain will come, the wind will blow and at times the sirens will wale, but there is a finish line in the distance, you just have to keep pushing through to get there! Just like you give every race your all and you don't give up, do the same in life, keep pushing, keep fighting, keep struggling through the pain, for soon there will be a finish line and you will have made it through that race! The sun will shine again, the clouds will part and the birds will chirp, there will be brighter days, you just have to push through the storm to get there!! I love you little buddy and even though I may not be here physically to cheer you on both in running races and life races, know that I am always cheering for you in my heart and will pray for you often! You've got this kid...this race...this storm...you can do it!!! You serve a God that will pull you through every storm life throws your way!!!

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" - Hebrews 12:1

Trinity Youth Ministry

In the fall of 1998 I joined Trinity's Youth Ministry for the very first time, as a young 7th grade girl, under the care of Dan and Kelly Schimdt! They both left such a huge mark on my life, not only in the way that they did ministry, but in the way that they loved one another and loved their children. Lee Stephenson was a youth intern during my Jr. High Years, became Asst. Youth Pastor my Freshman year and took over the whole youth ministry after Dan and Kelly followed the Lord's calling to Colorado the summer between my Junior/Senior year. Lee was awesome, I learned so much from him and watched his relationship with his Bride, Melissa unfold and their marriage blossom. Melissa was a riot, I don't think that I have ever had so many good laughs with a leader like I shared with Melissa. She was such a woman of God and an amazing example to all of us young girls as to what a Bride looks like, not only a Bride to her husband, but also a Bride to Christ. After my Senior year of high school Lee and Melissa moved to Arizona where Lee is currently a Pastor! Most people would think that my story should end there...I mean that was the end of my year as a student in Trinity's Youth Group, little did I know then, but it was far from the end of my role in Trinity's Youth Ministry. I was a small group leader under Dave and Becky Daye for 3 years, I learned alot from them as I watched them balance family and ministry together! John Ferguson came on staff to serve alongside Dave during the summer of 2005 during Last Blast! We were put on the same team that year and he nick named me captain. I knew during that week that this servant of God would be alot of fun as an addition to the Trinity Youth Ministry team, I just never would have imagined it would have been any more than being a small group leader on Wednesday nights. When Dave and Becky announced that God had called them to leave and go serve in Connecticut, I began to pray for the youth ministry alot! So many changes of youth pastors in so few years, I knew how hard it was for me as a student when Dan left, and here some of these students have now gone through several youth pastor's. When my phone rang on a Sunday night in May 2007 and the name popped up Fergy (aka John Ferguson) I never imagined he would be asking me to come on staff under him as a youth intern. Through out the 4 years I served under John, with other interns, Steve Olson, Michael Yoder, Taylor Harsch, Mike Lee and Sarah Stauss, each intern team worked differently together and each had their own strengths and weaknesses, but I learned SO much through all of those times. I watched John and Erin fall in love, get married and bring one precious life into the world and am sad that I will miss the baby stages of Baby Fergy #2! They taught me so much and helped me become who I am today. Tonight I sat on stage and looked out at a crowd of students, some that have been around for awhile and some only a few short months, but as I said good-bye and left them with words of wisdom, in my heart I was speaking them to each and every student that I have ever had the honor and privilege to serve. I may have been the leader, but those students taught me so much and for that I am forever grateful!! From a group of 4 small group girls that are now off in college seeking the face of the Lord, to a young group of Sophomore girls who still have so much to endure, to each and every student that I have ever known....THANK YOU...for teaching me far more than I could have ever taught you!! Thank you to Trinity's youth group, from the leaders that taught to me when I was in high school to the leaders that I have stood beside every Wednesday for the past 4 years!! I have been so blessed and my heart is filled with so many memories! I can't wait to embark upon the next journey that the Lord has for me, but ending a chapter is always a bittersweet thing to do, however the time has come for me to turn the page! Good-bye Trinity Student Ministries, you will forever hold a dear place in my heart!!

Emily

(aka Captain)

Mother's Day!

In less than a month I am getting married to the most amazing guy in the world! Although I am so very excited to begin my life with Christopher, today I can't help but think about my Mom, and the fact that in 27 short days I will leave my father and mother and become one with my husband! My Mom has been the best mother that a girl could ask for! In the last 7 months of wedding planning and medical hoopla, we have become very close! She has gone with me to numerous doctor appointments, been there for me before and after surgeries, doctored me up, and most recently went with me while I had my biopsy done on Friday! Although I knew that Mom was scared and nervous for me, her strength was amazing! We got the call an hour ago that the lump was benign!! (Thank you Jesus!!) She has helped me so much with all the wedding planning and getting everything figured out. She has always been my greatest supporter in everything that I do! We laugh together, we cry together, we can talk about anything with each other!! I am so very blessed to have the best mother in the whole wide world! I know that after I get married our relationship will change, but it is my hope and prayer that through the distance and everything else, that our relationship is only strengthened!! Thanks Mom for loving me unconditionally, forever!!! I love you!!!

Once upon a time, there was this girl, she loved Jesus with all her heart!!

She was determined to live her life for His glory.

She met a boy, this boy loved Jesus too!!

They fell in love and he asked her to be his wife!

They were called to be missionaries in Africa!!

This made Jesus really happy, to see a couple serving Him with their lives!!

But it made the devil very angry!!

You see the devil knew that this couple was going to do huge things for Jesus,

so the devil tried very hard to tear this couple apart!!

The devil failed and this couple was less than 2 months from their wedding,

the devil needed a plan and fast,

let's weaken this woman, so that she can not serve the Lord fully....

She had to have foot surgery...

she had to have wisdom teeth removed...

and now she has to have a biopsy of a lump found in her breast...

but you see...the devil....he is NOT winning....because this couple,

THEY SERVE AN AMAZING GOD!!!




The devil does NOT have a foot hold in my life and I will not let all of his little tactics that he is throwing my way scare me, because my God is far stronger!!!

Natalie Grant - Your Great Name

Listen to this song! SO POWERFUL!! I posted the lyrics for you too...I love this song so much right now! So much truth that we just take for granted!!

YOUR GREAT NAME!
By: Natalie Grant





Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of your great name
All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of your great name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your great name

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of your great name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of your great name
The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of your great name
Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your great name

Redeemer, My Healer, Almighty
My savior, Defender, You are My King

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your great name

~~~~~~~

I could just sing it forever...His name is so great and has so much power that we as Christian's are not utilizing!

"Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name"

The fears that we struggle with day in and day out...they have no place in our life...because we are followers of the One true God! The enemy HAS to leave....he doesn't have a choice...when we utter the name of Jesus he has to flee!!!! How often are we boughed down and feeling attacked but yet we try to fix it ourselves, we try to find the strength on our own....when all we really have to do is say His sweet name and He will help us, protect us, comfort us!!!

"The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of your great name
Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of your great name"

The fatherless are given a Father!!!!! Sick people are healed...and not just thousands of years ago when Jesus walked on this earth....but right now...here today....people can be healed...they just have to believe and call on the name of Jesus!!!

"Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us,
Son of God and Man, You are high and lifted up;
that all the world will praise your great name"

What an amazing song, Jesus, the Lamb of God was slain for us!!! He died for ME!!!!!! God sent His ONLY Son to die for lowly little me, trying to wrap my brain around that today brings me to my knees!!
He is SO WORTHY of our praise!!!

I encourage you....go back and listen again....sing to Him! Show Him how worthy He is of all our Praise!! And whatever you are dealing with...don't under estimate the power of HIS GREAT NAME!!!!

My new Profession: Juggling!!

I only wish that the type of juggling I am talking about could look that happy-go-lucky. You see, the juggling that I am talking about is the juggling of every day stuff. I am 58 days away from being a Bride and there is so much still to be done for the wedding. I am 2 weeks away from finishing 2 more classes at Bethel and there are papers and quizzes and books to read. I have 2 upcoming surgeries, so have to figure out how juggling life on crutches and pain meds will work. I have 5 more weeks of work at the bank and don't want to check out early. My last night at UNITED is in 5 and a half weeks and those students still need me.

Amidst all this juggling I want my main focus to be Christ. I want my juggling act to be Christ and the parts of the world that He wants me to reach. I want my juggling act to not be self-centered as it seems to be right now, but to be the things He has for me. That is my prayer right now, that my focus would be on Christ, even in the hustle and bustle that life is.

I am SO blessed!!

As I got off of work today, I received this text from Christopher:

"One of the paramedics brought her daughter up here and she was seeming tired so I picked her up and was holding her and she was falling asleep and she was like woah she never let's people hold her lol then my instructor was like your gonna be a good dad :) "

I read words like that and my heart melts! I know that not only am I marrying an amazing Man of God, but someone who will one day be "Daddy" to my children and possibly even some orphans if the Lord so entrusts some into our hands. I know that Christopher will be an amazing husband and a great father, I am so blessed!!!

Remember!!

I am sure that most of you have heard the song, "Your Grace is Enough" by Chris Tomlin....I used to HATE it!! I mean seriously, our God does not forget us. Why does the bridge say, "Remember your people, Remember your children, Remember your promise!" Do we really think that God has forgotten His people, or His children, or even His promises? I used to sing this song and get so very annoyed, He has not forgotten us, He loves us!!! That was, up until a few weeks ago....

I was in Texas standing between my fiance and his father and we were singing this song....and as I sang the words God gave me vision...it went a little something like this.....

REMEMBER YOUR PEOPLE....



REMEMBER YOUR CHILDREN....



REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE...

"A father to the fatherless,
a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in families"

You see..this song for me now goes so much deeper than God remembering us, its all about us remembering HIS people, HIS children, HIS promises!! We are called to love on the widows and the orphans!! Christopher and I were talking later that day, and I told him that I feel like our home in Africa will be an open door, somewhere that the widows and orphans can come and be loved, somewhere they are safe and fed!! I am excited for the things that the Lord has in store for us as a couple! I can't wait to go and love on the widows and the orphans and to be truly REMEMBER HIS PEOPLE, HIS CHILDREN, and HIS PROMISES!!!!

Until then, I will sing this song and smile, His grace truly is enough for me, and I will remember His promises!!!

Africa!

It's hard to believe that I am getting married in 84 days!! I am so excited! Along with that excitement come many questions about the future, from other people and myself. Most of the time when I tell people that I will be moving to Africa as soon as God opens the doors for Christopher and I to be there, people are shocked and surprised! Believe me, it took me awhile for God to convince me that He could use little me in such a big place, far from everything I know and love, but over time He has given me such a heart and passion for this lost and forgotten people, for the widows and the orphans, that when I see pictures and hear stories, my heart aches, I can't wait to be back there serving my God and these people, along side my husband (hehe..I really like the sound of that!) :-)

So the question remains, what does that look like? What will you be doing? Truth? We have absolutely no idea, but we are open to whatever the Lord places before us! I have dreams and visions of our home being constantly open, a safe haven for widows and orphans. A place where we love on and nurture young ones. A place where we come along side widows and help them to nurture their own children, and provide for themselves. I don't want our house to be somewhere that people just come to be spoiled, but rather a place where they come to be taught. Taught about how to raise children, provide for themselves, but most of all I want them to be taught about the love of Christ! I see children playing in the yard (dirt); our own biological children, the orphans we have taken in and the children from the village! I hear laughter and joy bouncing down the dirt roads and through the dirt huts! You see, I know this life will not be easy, I know there will be pain and hurt, I know there will be days when my heart is filled with pain as I watch little ones suffer, but I also know that our God is the great physician and I know that there will also be days when we see healings, both physical and spiritual!! I know there will be days of great joy and days of great sorrow, but I know that no matter what kind of day it is, I will still chose to serve my Father and He will still be good and still be on His throne!

I don't know if these dreams I have will match up with what the Lord has in store for us, but I know that He has a great call on our lives! There have been many times over the past few months when I have thought about the future and been worried, because we don't have a plan, we don't know what is in store. But as I was reading a book the other night for my Evangelism and Discipleship class, the author was talking about when Christ called His disciples. He didn't have some great plan for His ministry, He didn't have a program or a way He was going to change the world. He didn't plan out this amazing ministry and then get leaders, instead He got leaders and then planned the ministry. Jesus didn't use programs and lessons, He used PEOPLE! I know God has called Christopher and I to go where some people won't go, I know He has called us not to live the "safe" life! I know that He has chosen us to be His "people", now we are just waiting for Him to open the doors and to lead us as we start His "ministry!"

I wanna be a GREEN light!

Ever have those moments where God speaks to you and its almost like a "DUH" moment? Today while I was sitting in the gym during our Crosswalk service listening to Pastor preach about Caleb, I had one of those "DUH" moments! Pastor was talking about how Caleb was a green light when it came to following the Lord! He just went full force, didn't slow down, didn't hesitate, just went! Pastor then went on to talk about being red and yellow light people, people that either completely STOP and sit and wait until they are absolutely sure it is God speaking or people that hesitate and go forward with lots of caution, always wanting to follow God, but doing it with caution!

As I sat there and listened to Pastor preach it was a DUH moment for me, because I am being that "yellow" light person! Don't get me wrong, I'm about to get married and go into full time missions, but even in that my yellow light in the back ground is still going off, I'm still being overly cautious and asking all the "buts" and "what-ifs" that I could ever imagine! My fiance is a complete "Green" light kinda guy, if God say go, Christopher doesn't hesitate, he packs up and is off. I don't want to be the back-seat driver that slows us down but telling him to be careful and waiting. If God says go, I want to trust not only the Lord, but the instincts of my future husband and just go! I want to be a "green light" kinda girl! The girl that is willing to leave it all behind and just go, the kind that doesn't sit back and wonder if it is really, but just trusts that He will close the door if we aren't supposed to be walking through it!

Pastor also shared that his grandmother's prayer for his life became this,
"If there is a door that you want Craig to be walking through and he isn't,
just shove him through it!"

That is going to become my prayer for me!
"God if you want us to go and the "yellow light" in me starts to shine,
will you just shove me through!"


I WANT TO BE A GREEN LIGHT FOR GOD!!!

Christopher Daniel Mullins asked me to be His Bride!

(warning: this post is VERY long...read at your own risk!)


Our Story!



During the summer of 2004, while I was working as a Youth Intern under, John Ferguson, he came up with this crazy idea to make ME an e-harmony page....its okay, go ahead and laugh, I did too!! :-) At first this e-harmony page was a huge joke, my closet friends and I looking at my "matches" and laughing...some guys SO far from being "right" for me and others having a few qualities, but none that even sparked my interest! During that summer, one of my friends jokingly said I should add my screen name to my profile, that way if the guys wanted they could communicate with me. So my screen name was added and after a few weeks, the whole profile being forgotten about on my part. A couple of months later, I got a random IM from a screen name "theserextremedays"....thinking it was just one of my students, I responded...only to find...it was in deed, not one of my students but instead, Christopher!

Christopher and I chatted for awhile, found out he lived in Texas....first thought...whew...I'm safe, I'll never even have to meet this guy!! But as the occasional chats turned into hours and hours and later on into late night phone calls, that feeling of being safe changed...more into a bit sad that I would never have a chance to meet this amazing man of God! Our conversations continued, often late into the night as he was working the night shift as a paramedic, they turned from the normal everyday stuff to digging deeper and truly getting to know who each of us really was. The more I got to know this guy, the more my desire for the Lord deepen, Christopher pushed me in ways no else ever had. Our conversations grew deeper and deeper, until one conversation lead to the question, "What if I came up there to visit you?"

December 6th, 2007, my best friend and I drove to the airport to pick up the most amazing man! We spent an amazing weekend together, went snowboarding, met the family, spent time with friends, it was ALOT of fun! His flight was supposed to leave on Monday morning, but was delayed and he HAD to stay for another day! :-) He left and we agreed that I would fly down and visit him in Texas over my Spring Break! Less than a month after he left....I was on a plane to Texas! I mean...Spring Break, was just TOO far away! So I flew down on New Year's Eve and spent a week with him and his family! I was very nervous about meeting his family and spending a week down there, but it was a lot of fun! The most memorable experience from my week there was the day that we packed up our Bibles and headed to the state park to do devotions together (I wouldn't know until a month later how much this scene would impact my whole life!) I flew our that Sunday night with a desire to not only get to know this man more, but to do a DTS with YWAM! God was starting to plan my future and I was in awe of Him!

A little less than a month later as I sat in a church service with my best friend, praying about the future and Christopher and DTS, the Pastor asked us to close our eyes and envision a place that brought us peace. As I closed my eyes the first thing that popped into my mind was that park where Christopher and I had done devotions...as I struggled to make myself focus on what God wanted me to hear and not think about Christopher, God spoke VERY clearly to me! You see that day when we were doing devotions we were both leaning against the same tree, I was looking straight ahead over the lake and watching the sun as in was setting in front of us, Christopher was off to the side of the tree, a little behind me......as I envisioned us sitting under that tree God told me that He was like the sun and that I needed to keep my eyes on Him and that every time I turned my eyes to focus on Christopher that I was taking my eyes off of Christ and the things that He had for me. (don't worry God didn't stop there ;-) ) He then went on to tell me that there would come a time when Christopher would be right at my side and that together we would walk hand and hand with our eyes focused on Christ and the things He had for us! As I drove home that night I was in tears, was this it? Was he really the man that God had for me? I couldn't believe it, I had finally found my prince charming! I wish that I could say it was perfect from then on out, but the Lord allowed us to hit some rocky roads between that moment and where we are today!

Our friendship continued to blossom, but deep in my heart, I knew he was it, so it was very hard for me to not desire more than just a friendship with him. I moved to Texas that September to do my DTS, shortly after Christopher and I decided to take a break, I was devastated and began to question what I had really heard, maybe I didn't really understand what God was telling me back in Feb, maybe He just spoke that to try and get my eyes focused on Him, maybe that last part about Christopher and I following Him together had just been my dreams and desires. I went through my DTS and tried to seek His face and figure things out, I fell in love with Jesus in a huge way and experienced things I never could have imagined, but was still at a loss as to what was supposed to be between Christopher and I. It wasn't until after my DTS and Christopher's SOE that we began to really talk seriously again!

"I knew it! Yes, thank you God!" Those were the emotions that I had when we started talking and Christopher admitted that he still had feelings for me! We spent that summer learning a whole lot more about each other, he was up here, I drove down there for a week and I was convinced that I really had heard God clearly that day a year and a half ago. Christopher was feeling very called to go and serve with a new DTS that was starting in Malta, as I prayed and continued to seek what God wanted for my life, I really felt like I was supposed to go to Malta with Christopher! I met him for breakfast that morning and told him not only about feeling called to Malta, but also shared with him my vision from under the tree that up until that point he had no idea about! I left Texas that August, convinced that in a few months I would be going to Malta with Christopher! I was convinced this was it...we were going to go to Malta, help lead the DTS, fall more in love with Christopher and someday marry that boy! Never would have ever imagined what would happen within a month of me leaving Texas!

Christopher is very in tune with God and so when Christopher says he feels like God is saying this or that I tend not to question it very much, however that night in September when Christopher and I were talking and he told me that he didn't feel like WE were a God thing, I could do nothing but question him....What do you mean we aren't a God thing? I told you about my vision, of course we are a God thing! After lots of tears and tons of heartache I decided I couldn't push it anymore, what if Christopher was right, what if WE weren't a God thing, what if that vision was really all me and yet again I began to grieve this relationship and try to put the pieces of my life back together!

In January of 2010, Christopher boarded a plane and headed to Malta, while I stayed here in the US, trying to figure our what it was that God was trying to teach me. I began to evaluate my life, watched my best friend fall in love with her soul mate, tried desperately to seek the face of the Lord and overall continued to grieve what I was convienced was my soul mate. It took me 7 months to finally convince myself to move on. I went on a couple blind dates, tried to push through the "but he's just not Christopher" thoughts on each date! The guys were good solid Christian guys, but were just not right for me, they were NOT Christopher!



Christopher and I had continued to stay conected the whole time he was in Malta on, we would catch up on facebook or whatever, never anything more than "hey what's up?....I'm praying for you!" In August, he told me before he flew back into the states that he was flying into Detroit at 1:30 PM! My heart raced that day, I couldn't wait to hear his voice, to talk to him! I convinced myself that he had to make the first move, I would not go after him, it had to be his move not mine! I washed my car that afternoon, one of my friends came over and we were laying out in the pool....I kept checking my phone...1:20....1:25....okay Emily, you know he has to like call his parents and stuff, he probably won't even contact you till this evening, just relax! 1:30....1:33 my phone goes off, a text from Christopher!!! He was barely on US soil for a couple minutes and he was texting me!!! My heart raced and raced!! I started praying right away, Lord somehow help me to guard my heart, this boy has already broken my heart twice, don't let me fall again, but the reality was I had never really ever gotten over this boy! We talked alot, almost every night, I tried really hard not to let my true feelings show, I tried to guard my heart and allow Christopher to pursue me and for him to making the phone calls and texts and not me always contacting him. The more we talked the harder it was for both of us to hide our true feelings. One phone call was him admitting that he still had feelings for me, but begging me to guard my heart, because he didn't want to hurt me again, he told me not to start planning our wedding...haha! I just kept praying, God if this is right and this is good and of you, than tell Christopher, cause I know that my heart is already completely in love with him! We spent lots of time catching up, talking about everything, we talked about each of our dreams of being missionaries in Africa and about what we felt like God was saying. I continued to just ask God to speak to Christopher and begged him to take away every feeling I had for Christopher if this was not His will for me!

In October, Christopher surprised me and showed up at my doorstep late one night! He asked me to officially be his girlfriend, which I knew meant that he was sure about all of this!! He had told me before that he wouldn't pursue any relationship unless he was sure that he was going to marry me! We went ring shopping that week and started dreaming about the future and all about US!!!

On Thanksgiving morning, Christopher woke me up bright and early and took me out to breakfast and for an early morning walk in the park. We enjoyed our breakfast and headed to the park. We walked for awhile before stopping at a pretty spot that overlooked the river. Christopher set up his camera on the brick wall and we took lots of "us" pictures, we laughed and talked and joked! During one of his times of getting the camera set just right, he set up the video camera and I knew this was it......He was going to ask! We continued to take pictures and I pretended like I didn't see the obvious video camera sitting on the wall. We took several more pictures, laughed and talked a lot! I was getting nervous, was he going to ask..this had to be it, there was a video camera set up.....why is he taking so long to just ask! After awhile he finally commented about needing to head back to my house soon as extended family was coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, he suggested that we pray and head back. I agreed, thinking in the back of my mind, he's going to wait until after we pray together! He prays over us as a couple and I feel so very much in love with this amazing man of God! He finishes the prayer and my stomach flips...this is it...he's going to ask, I was certain! He continued to beat around the bush and keep changing the subject, what in the world was he doing?!

Finally after what seemed like forever, I decided maybe if I suggested leaving he would get the hint and just ask already. I just very simply asked, "Are you ready?" Just like that he dropped to his knee and said, "Yes, I'm ready for you to be my wife, to be my helpmate, to be my baby-mama, to live in Africa with me, to serve the Lord by my side....will you marry me?" (and I'm sure I am leaving out several other really sweet things, this is just all I remember.) I said "Yes!" and we proceeded to take a couple more pictures before texting and calling all of our closest friends and family! It truly was a morning, that I....even the non-morning person in me.....will NEVER forget!!